100 Days

Not as impressive as the movie title "300", but still impressive to me.

I told everyone I'd write a bit of a rant for my 100, my centennial, my "holy crap it's been this long"...so here it goes.  I'm going to recap a bit...hop in my time machine with me.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Day 1.
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I decided to quit smoking.  Only after I went out for my morning smoke almost by accident.  It was just a habit.  My Girlfriend asked if I was going to quit, I almost forgot that I wanted to quit that day.  Patch went on, and I went to work.

After only a few hours into work, I was getting twitchy as I had "missed" my smoke breaks.  I kept busy as best I could and not think about it.  It was not easy.

I for some reason, decided to put together the IKEA shelves I had purchased a few days before.  Got really bad cravings after only getting one together and realized my patch fell off from the sweat.  I panicked, put it back on, and relaxed for a bit.  Almost lost it!

Day 2
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Yep, first morning wake up with no smoke.  Put that patch on as quick as I could (after showering).  Man I wanted to go out for that smoke.  Was doing everything to try and convince myself that it would be OK.  I didn't do it, and I'm glad for that.

I started chewing on some straws.  Someone on another unrelated forum suggested that.  What a great suggestion!  Grabbed a handful from the cafeteria and chewed and sucked on those things for the day.  Better.

Day 3
-------

Hell Day.  Yep, Day 3.  And yep, it *WAS* Hell Day.  September 11.  Was going to a bonfire that night with friends.  Being around a campfire type of thing was a huge trigger to smoke.  Guess what.  I didn't.  Yay me!

>>>>>

1 Week
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Fast forwarding to the 1 week mark.  Stressful day, minor slip (took a puff off a smoke and almost puked).  I don't count that as "returning to smoking".  That was a painful reminder though.  I still remember that gross taste, and that was a looong time ago.

2 Weeks
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I was starting to get very irritable.  Any noise was really making me mad.  I was freaking out at the cat for meowing, I would yell at a door for creaking at this point.  I knew I just needed to sleep this off, but I couldn't get to sleep if I heard a noise.  It was a very rough night, but things HAVE to get better...right?

3 Weeks (21 Days)
------------------------
I'm just going to grab a quote from my Blog for this...

"Anyway, I'm 3 weeks in and I'm having issues.

I want to smoke.

I'm not sure if it's a craving, and urge or whatever they want to call it on the different websites and books and stuff. I have the desire."

There was alot more to that post, and if you want to read the whole thing, visit my blog (see link at the end of this post) and find Sept 29.

Almost 4 Weeks
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Almost at the month mark, and as I got ready for work, I checked my pockets for smokes and a lighter.  I hadn't done that in a month.  Even at the beginning of my quit, it wasn't a reaction, but for some reason it was this time.  Didn't make sense, and I dismissed it shortly after.  As I mentioned in the blog, if I did find them, I likely would have lit up by habit.

This was also my last day on step 1 of the patches!

At the month mark, I was starting to crave again.  The cravings were pretty strong.  I kept referring to it as a "desire".  Maybe it was...

Thanksgiving Weekend (in Canada)
---------------------------------------------
Family, stress, want to smoke.  Didn't smoke.  Need I say more?

42 Days
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At this point, I'm stepping down again!  Man it went by fast.  But it was time to hit Step 3 in the patches.

Just prior to this however, I spent the weekend at Canada's Wonderland for the Halloween Haunt!  It was a great time, and I really didn't want to smoke too bad.  I was impressed with myself as I figured I'd want to stop constantly for a smoke.  I didn't.

It was also my first fairly long car trip without smoking (even though we DID stop a few times like I normally would have requested just to have a smoke).  5 hour drive with no smoking.  woo hoo!

The next day I had a great time.  I had a trip to the photo club to learn the studio, went out for the Zombie Walk (whcih was a blast...see photos in my blog) generally had a great time.

Almost Halloween
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Another quick copy and paste from my blog....

"A co-worker that I used to go out and have a smoke with stopped me at the door as she was headed out for a smoke. She looks at me and says "Did you quit smoking?" I'm like..yeah, almost 2 months ago now. She comments "huh, didn't even notice". I told her I don't even notice anymore that I used to smoke, as I don't have the urge to go outside and freeze for a smoke. and then her comment, that made me laugh..."Well, I guess that's both a good and a bad thing". Huh? What? I had to get an explanation. Her explanation "Well, it's good for you that you quit, but bad because now you aren't outside with us". Nope, that's a GOOD thing on both accounts."

Halloween is here!
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Now, you have to understand...I'm the MC at a big halloween party here in town.  I get stressed about this every year.  Stress = wanting to smoke.  I didn't this time.  I enjoyed every minute of the party instead of having to go huddle outside in the cold for a smoke!

I totally enjoyed myself, and realized how much of the party I would have been missing by smoking a pack during that party like usual.

Patted myself on the back and had another beer!

November
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I did some math at break with some co-workers.  I figured I smoked almost 20 a day.  I tended to time my smokes to once every hour.  Obviously I smoked more than once an hour if I had 20 a day.  Then I thought to the people that smoke 2 or 3 PACKS a day.  That's one smoke every 10 minutes or so.  That they are awake.  Do the math.  Say you sleep 8 hours.  That leaves 16 hours of wake time.  16*60=960 minutes in the day.  3 packs = 75 cigarettes.  That is one cigaretted every 12.5 mintues (roughly).  Now, figure it takes 5 minutes to leisurely smoke a cigarette.  You *DON'T* have a smoke in your mouth for 7.5 minutes. 

How Do You Have SEX? 

Just sayin...

November 10
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Last day on the patch.  I made it through, but I was nervous about getting rid of the patch.  I stayed on 2 weeks longer than the box said, but 2 weeks prior to this, was the halloween party coming up and I knew I needed the help.

But, better the patch than smoking!

November 11
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Another sad day to not have the support of NRTs.  Well, other sad day was Sept 11, and that was day 3 for me.  Still.

I made it through.  Craved a bit, but not as much as I had thought.

>>>>>>>>>

December 6
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It's my Birthday!  Woo Hoo!  I made it another year!  Hopefully now that I'm not smoking I can make it lots more years!

December 9
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3 months down!  I made it 3 months!  I got myself a Playstation 3 with all the money I saved!

December 17
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100 Days!  Maybe I should write a rant on the Q for everyone.  Who am I kidding, nobody is going to read it.  It's going to be WAAAY too long.

Vidar
D100
$800 Saved!
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

*repost from the quit smoking forums*

Made it this far, and yesterday I had a stressful day. I had an xmas party to attend with my GF and some xmas shopping. The party was her circle of people that I don't know, so it made me feel a bit uncomfortable to begin with.

Now, to start the day, I was sick. I woke up with a migraine and muscle stiffness in my neck, shoulders and most of my back. I got up, had some breakfast and started to crave a smoke.

I just about lost it at that point. I couldn't believe I've come this far and still crave it. It wasn't as much a craving as a want though. I know it's just my brain playing tricks on me, but I felt like going out on my patio and smoking.

Anyway, this "craving" lasted almost ALL day. It was all I could seem to think about. Get out of the car to go into the store "hey, I could have a smoke"...you know the routine, I don't have to explain that one.

Today was a bit better...the cravings are still hitting me though. I feel almost "nervous". I'm a bit twitchy and can see myself outside smoking.

So let this be a warning that has been put out by many people, and not just me.

"NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN".

It doesn't matter how long you have gone without, one craving *could* put you over the edge.

Oh, and I almost forgot...after dinner the other night for my GF's mothers birthday, I got up after dinner, put my coat on and went outside. I didn't even know why until someone commented "What are you doing? You don't smoke anymore". Talk about a reflex action...sheesh.

Vidar
I have been quit for 96 days. I have saved approximately $768.97 by not smoking 1,922 cigarettes.  My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM. 
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com/

Looking back

Today I'm going to do a bit of reflecting.  It's time to look back on my quit attempt this time around and see where the trouble spots are.  This is what is normally done after someone caves and starts smoking again, but I think it can be healthy for me now that I've gone this far.

Today is a landmark day.  I have officially hit 90 days.  This is day 91.  Tomorrow at 7am, I will have officially been quit for 3 months.  The 3 month mark is supposed to herald in a new set of challenges, but I think I'm good to go now. 

I've done lots of work during this quit to help me stay quit.  I removed a few stresses from my life which were starting to push me over the edge.  I've started working on hobbies for the sheer fun of having a hobby.  Keeping busy is a good thing, and having down time is another good thing.  I'm happy about both of these things.

Getting through a birthday weekend was a miracle for me, but I'm glad I did not smoke the whole time.  I had a fabulous time for my birthday, and not being able to smoke at a spa and subsequently not WANTING to smoke while I was there was a nice thing.

I've heard lots of things during this quit, like "you're not really free until you stop counting the days".  Bite me.  Does that mean you never age if you stop counting birthdays?  Hell, people call 3 year olds "Oh look, he's only 36 months old"...No, he's 3!  Pretty soon, I can start counting my quit in years.  Hell, let's start now.

I'm 1/4 of a year non-smoker.  Nah, that does sound silly.  But after the 12 month mark, it's a year damnit.

Anyway, I'm off topic there.  There were people that stated that I would be happy as a non-smoker, until I started smoking again, then I'd be truly happy once more.  Not so.  I'm quite happy not smoking.  It's getting cold outside now (into the negative temperatures) and we're expecting a snow storm tomorrow.  Glad I'm not out in that puffing away.

Also, I've had the comments lately of "you smell good".  I wasn't sure if I should take that the wrong way.  LOL.  But it is true.  Nicotine is not leeching out of my pores like it probably used to.  I'm happy, those around me are happy, what's not to like these days?

Do I miss smoking?  Maybe once in a while, but it's getting more and more rare to miss it.

I'm good with where I'm at.  I'm at 3 months.

Oh, and I got my PS3 with the money I saved.  Had enough to buy a few games to go with it too.  Yay me!

Oh, stats time.  Then I'm done blogging for the moment.

I have been quit for 90 days. I have saved approximately $721.16 by not smoking 1,802 cigarettes.  My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM. 

Ugh...and damn!

It has been a rough week in general.  But I didn't smoke. That's the important thing...right?

Well, the cravings were at an all time high for almost a week now.  I've been off nicotine completely for almost 2 weeks and this is just killing me inside.  It's actually painful at times how much the cravings hit.  That made no sense, but to me it makes perfect sense.  That's how screwed up this is.

Day by day the cravings are getting slightly better, but only slightly.  This one may take a while.  This is the hardest quit to date.  But then, I don't really remember the last quit either (the one that lasted almost 6 years).  But this one, damn its rough.  The temptation to smoke is great this time and I don't really know why.

Best I can figure is that it comes down to motivation.  Mind you, I want to be quit.  I don't want to be a slave to the smokes any more.

I have been quit for 75 days. I have saved approximately $600.29 by not smoking 1,500 cigarettes.  My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM. 
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com/

Last day

It's my last day.  I'm now on my last nicotine patch.  As of tomorrow morning, I'm nicotine free.  Well, other than the last remnants in m body from the patches.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.  Not one bit.  I know it's going to be a stressful day, but it will be one to "remember".  Yep, November 11th is my first day sans-patch.  I must be a glutton for punishment.  I'll be home most of the day probably, so boredom will become a factor (thank you XBOX for lending me a distraction!)

Well, just thought I'd post one last time on the patch.  It's been a rough couple of days, but I'm moving along more and more!

Showin my stats...

I have been quit for 62 days. I have saved approximately $498.42 by not smoking 1,246 cigarettes.  My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM. 

Rough weekend

I had a very rough weekend. I was in Union meetings all weekend (first ones as a non-smoker). I was used to going outside for stress breaks and what not. This time i pushed through. And let's not forget the amount of drinking that goes on at these events. Wowsers. I was sure I was going to crack, but I didn't. I pushed through and made it.

Yesterday, no meetings, slept in a bit, it was nice. Was talking with my girlfriend as we went out for the day (church in the morning, then to a hockey game, then out to dinner then home). Very full day. She was asking me about it as I am on my second last day with a patch. I said that I was still getting cravings, but not quite as often. She was really inquiring wanting to know what was setting off my cravings. She was just curious and wanted to understand what was causing it. I don't fault her at all for that. But ya know what? Talking about it was making the cravings come faster and faster. After a few minutes, all I could think was, "when are we getting there so I can have a smoke"...

The rest of the day was like that. Triggers were at an all time high and I thought, screw it, I'm just gonna start smoking again. I really don't care what others think, this quit is HARD.

I was fighting in my brain and realized, I don't wanna throw this all away either. Oh yeah, I'm on Day 62 now. Not day 2. Day 62. I'd throw away 2 months of quit time. But ya know, having 2 months in is NOT a safety net by any means. And I've done good to my body in those 2 months. I can feel that I've done good to my body.

Anyway, I told her that I couldn't talk about it right now as I feel like smoking and don't wanna break down. She asked one very good question and I've had to contemplate it.

"What has made this quit so much harder than your last time?"

I asked for some time to think about that question. It turned out I didn't need much time.

Last time I quit, my father was in the hospital with cancer. Didn't take much for me to want to quit at that point. Yes, I started up 5 years later, but the quitting wasn't quite as bad. The real reason this time??

I didn't want to quit.

I was not ready to quit smoking this time. I did it out of pressure. At least perceived pressure. This time I had to quit. I tried earlier in the year actually, and that only lasted a week. But I digress. This time, I didn't want to quit.

I did it anyway, but that's in the back of my mind. I only state this as that is one of the important factors in a successful quit. You have to want it. If you don't want it, you may let it slide.

That's my ramble. I still haven't smoked, but man the urge is getting stronger by the minute.


I have been quit for 61 days. I have saved approximately $488.29 by not smoking 1,220 cigarettes.  My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.

Monday...already?

It's monday again, but it's another monday that I'm not a smoker! So that's a damn good thing in my eyes.

I had my huge halloween party to do this weekend. It was stressful to say the least. I am the host and MC for this party. I have a big fear of speaking in front of crowds, but I still do this anyway (yeah I know, my fault). I was worried as for the past couple of years, and of course the years before I quit smoking last time, I would constantly be running outside in the cold to have a quick smoke.

Well, this year, sure I may have had the urge once in a while as the memories came back, but I still didn't go out. I probably drank more alcohol because of this. You see, this bar, you have to go up 2 flights of stairs to get to the main area. Not an easy task when you're drinking like a fish. People would buy me beers a few times in the night and it would be rude not to drink them ;-)

I know, junkie thinking ;-)

Anyway, a good time was had by the folks there. I had to deal with twits all night, which wasn't fun, but at least I kept the party rockin for the 450 or so people there. That's the real important part. As long as others had a good time, I'm happy. And it was good to reconnect with some old friends there that I haven't seen for a while.

I did have a small craving this morning on the way to work. More of a memory thing again. Just walking to work, at the same point I would always light up and there was the brief glimmer across my mind of "time to have a smoke" and then it passed. At least THOSE are getting quicker.

I have been quit for 54 days. I have saved approximately $432.28 by not smoking 1,080 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

Smoking habits

Yesterday as I waited patiently for the bus to head to my friends place for some quiet time, I woudl normally have had a smoke. I realized this as I saw and older guy pacing back and forth having a smoke. I realized that used to be me.

Then I noticed that as soon as he tossed his butt to the curb, he lit another smoke. Now, the bus was running a bit late, and I had to wait a total of 15 minutes. In that 15 minutes, I watched this guy have 4 cigs.

I did some chatting yesterday with some coworkers over our break about smoking.

When I smoked, it was about 20 a day. Just under a pack here in Canada (they stuff 'em to 25 here). I found that I would "time" myself between smokes. I'd try to at least wait an hour. It was like a game to me somehow. I made that hour mark my trigger also. Stupid me.

Anyway, I realized that I must have smoked more than every hour as I would have had to be awake 20 hours a day to pull that off. Then realized, yep, in the morning I would have one when I wake up, and one on the way to work (30 minutes apart). Before breakfast at work I'd have one, then one after (30 minutes apart). Same at lunch time...and other times in the day.
Anyway...that was me smoking a U.S. pack a day. Every hour. Now I think of those that smoked 3 packs a day...no wait, they were Canadian that said that, so that's 75 cigs a DAY. Assuming you are awake 16 hours a day (8 hours to sleep), that is one smoke every 12.8 minutes. When do you have time to do ANYTHING else?

I'm not trying to tell others how to live, but how can you live when you do nothing but smoke? I figure it takes about 4-5 minutes to smoke, so that leaves 7-8 minutes BETWEEN lighting up? All I can think is that sex must be DANGEROUS. lol

Anyway, that's my little rant for the day. I'm sure I'll come up with another soon enough.

funny

A co-worker that I used to go out and have a smoke with stopped me at the door as she was headed out for a smoke. She looks at me and says "Did you quit smoking?" I'm like..yeah, almost 2 months ago now. She comments "huh, didn't even notice". I told her I don't even notice anymore that I used to smoke, as I don't have the urge to go outside and freeze for a smoke. and then her comment, that made me laugh..."Well, I guess that's both a good and a bad thing". Huh? What? I had to get an explanation. Her explanation "Well, it's good for you that you quit, but bad because now you aren't outside with us". Nope, that's a GOOD thing on both accounts.

Sorry.

I have been quit for 1 Month, 2 Weeks, 4 Days, 2 hours and 10 minutes. I have saved approximately $384.71 by not smoking 961 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Days, 8 hours and 5 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.

It's monday again

Well, we're back to another monday. All is pretty good however. Cravings are down (yay) and spirits are high (yay again!)

Had a great weekend. I just wish I could remember more of Saturday. Hmm.. Oh yeah, went costume shopping on Saturday for a bit, I remember that much. Sunday was very memorable.

In the morning I went to the RA Centre for my introduction to the photo studio at the club. We had a model there to shoot while we tried different lighting setups and props and stuff. It was quite informative, and I got quite a few good shots (I think anyway). We were in for just over 4 hours, and not once did I have to think "can we take a break so I can grab a smoke". That was nice and liberating.

After that I went back home, had some lunch and then headed off to meet up with Robyn for the Zombie walk. OMG. That was a blast! There was something just so much fun about being silly. We had a great time, and got interviewed by the Metro news and also the Ottawa Citizen. Everyone seemed to want a picture of me hanging in the tree. Robyn told me not to post yet, but I have to put a picture up.

Sorry Robyn ;-)

Anyway, I had lots of fun at that. After finishing up with the undead, I met up with Gwen at Carlingwood mall where we then proceeded to go out for dinner for her sisters birthday. It was a VERY full day all in all, and the cravings didn't really hit too hard. It's fun now!

Anyway, I'll post the stats!

I have been quit for 1 Month, 2 Weeks, 3 Days, 3 hours and 56 minutes. I have saved approximately $377.30 by not smoking 943 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Days, 6 hours and 35 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.

Been a bit

Yeah, it's been probably what, a week since I posted here? Yeah, I kinda got behind didn't I.

Anyway, it's been 42 days now, hence the reason for the post. It's 42 man! I've been smoke free for 42 days. Maybe THAT'S the answer. Hmm..

Anyway, I just made one more step down. I'm on Step 3 now...the last step. Patches are pretty small, dosage is smaller. This could be a crazy day. Stress levels are peaking a bit too.

What's happened lately. Well, went to Canada's Wonderland again, this time for the Halloween Haunt. It was pretty cool. Cravings were minimal on the trip up. This is my first long trip without a smoke. Well, not long, but almost 5 hours, so that's long enough. I think I looked at the clock once and said to myself "Hmm, would almost be time to stop for a smoke". That was it. I noticed lots of people smoking in the park even though they are supposed to stay in "designated areas". Oh well, can't police everything.

Then there is the issue of me thinking about getting a car. This has stressed me out quite a bit over the last day. I almost cracked last night, but decided to just let it pass. It took a lot to let it pass, I had to play some of my video game and then go to bed. Was not a fun time. But it too shall pass and things will get better.

This smaller patch may hurt a bit today, but I just have to persevere and get through it...right?

I have been quit for 1 Month, 1 Week, 5 Days, 1 hour and 4 minutes. I have saved approximately $336.34 by not smoking 840 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days and 22 hours of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

Rough night

Ok, so last night, I get home and flake out on the couch. I was just beat. I decided to play some hockey on my Xbox for a while and upgrade my computer (playing the xbox between reboots). All was good and I realized that I had to ship out an ebay sale, so I had to wrap it in the plain paper stuff they sell. I can't wrap xmas gifts, how the hell did I think I was gonna pull this off? It was a big box, and not easy to manipulate. It was a guitar and amp all packaged up.
Anyway, I get some of the paper on there, just barely and as I maneuvered the box so I could put another slab of paper on, the first one ripped. Not where I taped it, but where it WASN'T taped. I was very frustrated with this. I was cursing and swearing and just getting VERY upset with it. My nerves were just shot! I continued to yell, and curse and finally, after an hour (yeah, an hour) I got this thing sealed up nice and tight. There is almost a whole roll of packing tape on this bloody thing. I actually feel sorry for the purchaser, cause now they have to try and open it when they get it.

I'm not sure why I was getting so upset at such a trivial thing. I haven't had these feelings of homicide since I quit really. And then, add to that, as I'm trying to go to sleep, the cat starts howling. Not meowing, HOWLING. She is loud now. Usually it's just to come up on the bed (and the cat IS allowed to do that), so I pat the bed, cat comes up and bascially yells in my ear. I grab the cat by the scruff of the neck, pick her up and just lay into her verbally. Why? I don't know. I've got my patch on. I guess everything just built up and exploded at once. I hope that part is over.

Anyway, still not smoking!

I have been quit for 1 Month, 1 Week, 1 hour and 3 minutes. I have saved approximately $296.34 by not smoking 740 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 13 hours and 40 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM. http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

Been a while

Yeah, it's been a while since I've posted, but things are going good.

Did the thanksgiving weekend without too many cravings. I may have had a few, but they weren't that bad. I think things are starting to get a little bit better, which is better than not being good...right?

Yeah, it's been a bit rough at times, but I did get through those times. I'm here as proof of that.

So yep, still not smoking, and I'm actually quite proud of myself for this.

I have been quit for 1 Month, 4 Days, 5 hours and 43 minutes. I have saved approximately $273.89 by not smoking 684 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days and 9 hours of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

Month!

It's been a month! Officially now! One Month...

Damn the cravings were bad last night. First night at home alone watching a hockey game though. I'm sure that's the reason for it.

Also, when I went out to do some photos I checked my pocket for my cigs. Not sure why, but I needed to check. I had this desire to smoke, but I didn't. I got through the night ok in the end.

Anyway, not much more to say at this time. Thanksgiving weekend coming up, I may post this weekend, but then I may not. Hard to say at this point.

I have been quit for 1 Month, 4 hours and 7 minutes. I have saved approximately $241.36 by not smoking 603 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 2 hours and 15 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

4 Weeks gone!

Well, it's officially been 4 weeks without a smoke. Yay Me. I posted over on the forums that I frequent during this quit the following little tidbit.

Listening to Sixx AM this morning, this song snippet is dedicated to the NicoDemon...

"This is just a courtesy call. This is just a matter of policy. This is just an act of kindness to let you know that your time is UP!"

4 weeks. Seriously? Yeah, it's been almost a month (technically 2 days away). Who designed these silly ass months to be 30 or 31 days...or 29 or 28 in one single month for that matter? Sheesh. Let's all just go back to the lunar calendar, it's easier, and it puts me at a month today ;)

That's all for now folks. Oh and I'm stepped to #2 now. Less nicotine now. I'm a bit jittery, but it shall pass.

I have been quit for 4 Weeks and 1 hour. I have saved approximately $224.32 by not smoking 560 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 22 hours and 40 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

Now that's odd

I woke up this morning, got ready for work, showered, put on a new patch and then got my jacket and shoes on. As I was getting ready to leave, I patted down all my pockets to ensure I had a pack of smokes and a lighter on me. What the hell? I didn't, obviously, but that's the first time since I quit that I've actually done that.

Worst part is, if I had found some, I likely would have lit up when I got outside. I may have puked, but the habit would have made me light up. Sheesh. Strange how these things work.

Tomorrow I step down to Step 2. This could be an interesting thing. 2/3 the nicotine (14mg instead of 21mg). We'll have to see how it goes tomorrow. I hope it doesn't feel like day 1 again.

I have been quit for 3 Weeks, 6 Days, 2 hours and 51 minutes. I have saved approximately $216.94 by not smoking 542 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 21 hours and 10 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

3 weeks done!

I made it through yesterday. I don't know how, but I did. I went a bit insane last night by calling Rogers to get them to fix my damn cable like they said they would. Guess what, a technician had to be dispatched again. Grrr. I was very frustrated and was ready to smoke but then asked myself if it would help. Guess what, it wouldn't. So I won that fight. I played some NHL 10 on my Xbox and relaxed a bit.

I need a heavy bag to get through this. Of this I am certain.

I just have nowhere to put it. But ya know what...I could FIND a place for it...I'm sure

Anyway, I made it...I'm past the dreaded 3-week mark. Why oh why is it so much harder this time?

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I have been quit for 3 Weeks, 2 hours and 26 minutes. I have saved approximately $168.80 by not smoking 422 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 11 hours and 10 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

Am I going insane?

Well, we're here...I'm on Day 21. Almost quit for a whole 3 weeks. How do I know? I have a counter in more ways than one. I have the electronic one that I use to post at the bottom of my posts, and I also have another empty box of patches. That's how I know.

Anyway, I'm 3 weeks in and I'm having issues.

I want to smoke.

I'm not sure if it's a craving, and urge or whatever they want to call it on the different websites and books and stuff. I have the desire.

I'm trying to work out how this is different from the last time I quit when I quit for almost 5 years. I think this time, my motivation isn't quite there yet. I have written down the reasons that I want to quit, and they really aren't out-weighing the want to smoke. Not reasons to smoke, as they are very few, but the desire.

Could this be a passing phase? Sure it could. Hell, I'm pretty sure it is. I've gone a good portion of my life smoking, so it's going to take time again to quit. But for some reason it's not seeming as easy as it was last time I had quit.

Giving up on the quit is easier than staying on the quit. That's for sure. But will it make me feel better? Physically? Hell no. Mentally? Maybe.

I know the Medical and Physical reasons to quit smoking. We're bombarded with them every day. I also don't want that feeling on a long trip of "When will I be able to have my next smoke". I always looked forward to the stops along the way just to grab a smoke. (If you are a smoker, or used to be a smoker that couldn't smoke in the car...you know what I mean)

I'm choosing to quit. But the main reason I'm choosing not to smoke, is I don't want to disappoint those around me that are supporting me. It's a stupid reason, it really is. I should be worried about disappointing myself, but I'm not. If I were to start smoking right now, I may be disappointed for a few minutes, but then it would pass. I know others would be really disappointed in me, and I don't want to put that on them.

I'm going to do a list again, and write down the pros and cons of starting smoking again. That should be enough to make me not want to start up. I hope.

Keep on with the support folks, I'm not lost yet...

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I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 2 hours and 51 minutes. I have saved approximately $160.94 by not smoking 402 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 9 hours and 30 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

Movies and stuff

Last night I went to the movies to see the new Trailer Park Boys movie. When the movie got out, as we went outside, there were tons of people smoking outside the theatre. I didn't even twitch or want to reach for a pack. That's a good sign. Movie was fun, but it was like a 2 hour episode of the show on TV.

Ended up getting home not feeling good though. I had a whopper from BK and it just didn't sit right with me. Up quite a bit all night due to the ick factor in my stomach. But, I knew it would go away. Well, here it is 2pm and it's still there. Oh well, I know not to eat a whopper for a while now...lol

Today has been a rough day. Not gonna go into all the stresses, but they were here. Yeah, I had a craving, and an urge and they were STRONG. I almost caved, but didn't. So I feel good about that.

So, here's my stats!

Two weeks, four days, 7 hours, 14 minutes and 3 seconds. 366 cigarettes not smoked, saving $146.41. Life saved: 1 day, 6 hours, 30 minutes.

It's Friiiiiday

Well, here we are...at another Friday, and all seems good.

I woke up this morning, slowly mind you, and got out of bed. Went to the living room to grab some stuff and realized that normally I would be going straight out for a smoke at this point. I kind of chuckled to myself, but realized, that was my habit. Maybe I should stop going to the living room first thing in the morning for a bit to break that routine.

Anyway, sleep has been great now that I'm taking melatonin before bed. Ahh, the joys of restful sleep. Cravings are pretty much away from me at this point...right now. I know they aren't gone for good, but for now it feels awesome!

Thanks to everyone again for the support!

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I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 1 hour and 16 minutes. I have saved approximately $128.41 by not smoking 321 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 2 hours and 45 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

2 weeks down...

Haven't posted much lately, but I'm still quit. It's been over 2 weeks and the cravings are finally starting to subside more. I'm more agreeable to the fact that I don't smoke anymore.

I can't say I haven't thought about it at all, because I have, but they are down to just fleeting moments. Things are getting better!

I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 1 Day, 4 hours and 26 minutes. I have saved approximately $121.47 by not smoking 303 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 1 hour and 15 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

What a monday

Last night I watched some TV before bed, got myself nice and tired, laid down and could NOT get comfortable. Then the cat came in and started meowing like crazy. I was getting very frustrated. Any little noise was bothering me. Even the girlfriend breathing was getting on my nerves. I stormed out of the bedroom and went and laid down on the couch in the living room hoping to get some sleep there. I got about 20 minutes in before the cat came in there to yell. I was ready to lock the cat in a closet and try to get some sleep. I chose to try the bed again, and after about an hour of tossing and turning, I finally got some sleep. All 4 hours of it before being up for work.And not good restful sleep either.

Smoking dreams again.I do remember at one point, when I first ran to the living room I had thoughts of just going out and getting smokes, but I didn't. I need to reward myself for getting through some stress with something other than a smoke. Just have to figure that out.

Anyway, there's my rant for the moment. Sorry.

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I have been quit for 1 Week, 6 Days and 48 minutes. I have saved approximately $104.26 by not smoking 260 cigarettes. I have saved 21 hours and 40 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

*yawn*

Yep, it's been a long weekend for me. I didn't smoke still, so it was a successful weekend.

Swedish classes started, and I remembered when I took them a few years ago the want to go for a smoke during the break and before and after class. It was brutal. But I got through it all.

Saturday night went to a wedding reception party and was worried about the cravings creeping in. I haven't had a good drink since I quit almost 2 weeks ago, so I was concerned. I had a nice glass of scotch and sure, got a mild craving, but I saw others go outside for a smoke and stand around shivering and I was glad I wasn't one of them. The scotch tasted nice too ;-)

So, I'm still trucking along, and I figure I'm doing good. I find I do better and get less cravings when I don't think about me quitting smoking. So if I'm not posting on here quite as regularly, that's why. I still want to post more though, so we'll see where that takes me.

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I have been quit for 1 Week, 5 Days, 2 hours and 10 minutes. I have saved approximately $96.71 by not smoking 241 cigarettes. I have saved 20 hours and 5 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

detox?

Ok, I'm guessing my body is going through a serious detox. I can't ever remember having a cold sore on my lip, and now I have one. That's the best I can come up with, that it's my body detoxing.

Cravings are still there, but it's getting easier to get past them.

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I have been quit for 1 Week, 1 Day, 9 hours, 29 minutes and 45 seconds (8 days). I have saved $67.15 by not smoking 167 cigarettes. I have saved 13 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 09/09/2009 7:00 AM

New post time

Well, it's morning, so I guess it's new post time.

Night was pretty good. Morning was interesting. I took my medicine and everything, got ready for work and then realized, hey, I should probably put a new patch on.

I didn't even think about it until the last second. Not sure if that's a good sign or not. I wouldn't have wanted to take on the day without it, but I'm going to assume it's a good thing.

On a tangent, the Sens were robbed in an exhibition game last night. There was a clear goal that the ref waved off. They showed a few replays of it, and the puck was clearly in the net, well over the line, but they would not review it. It cost them the game. Oh well, good thing it's only exhibition.

Still rockin along.

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I have been quit for 1 Week, 1 Day, 1 hour and 1 minute. I have saved approximately $64.33 by not smoking 160 cigarettes. I have saved 13 hours and 20 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

1 Week

I've hit the one week mark. I haven't had a cigarette in 7 days now. Do I still get cravings? Yes. Did I slip at all? Yes. Let me explain.

I had a very stressful day yesterday. MANY emotions were running through me and I figured I could cure it all by having a smoke (is that junkie thinking or what?).

I grabbed a smoke, lit it up, took 2 puffs and almost puked my guts out. After 7 days, the taste was TERRIBLE. I had a hard time believing that I ever smoked like 20 of those a day. It took alot to get that taste out of my mouth. I sucked on a bunch of mints, drank some coffee (yeah, like that would help), drank some water, bought some strawberries at the market, and finally the taste subsided.

Later that night I had another craving, and all I had to do was remember what it tasted like and I didn't want to have another one. So...all in all, maybe it was a good thing. It was a reminder of one of the reasons to quit. Can I guarantee I will NEVER slip again? No. I can't guarantee anything that may or may not happen. As long as I can remember what those few puffs were like, I may not have to worry though.

Anyway, it's my 1 week mark. I'll be getting some money back from my camera purchase as another store had it on sale! Woo hoo. I just have to go to the store and get that done. Maybe that can go towards the new lens I want to get ;-)

Again, I thank everyone for the support. Big hugs to you all!

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I have been quit for 1 Week, 2 hours and 42 minutes. I have saved approximately $56.89 by not smoking 142 cigarettes. I have saved 11 hours and 50 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com

It's been...almost 1 week

I'm on Day 7 now. Yep, as of Tomorrow I will be at my 1 week mark. The cravings are just as strong as Day 1. That worries me a bit. I have a few things to try and help me through this, but it's getting harder and harder. Today is the beginning of a pretty stressful day with a good ending though.

Tonight I will be checking out the RA Centre's Photo Club. They have having a workshop type thing tonight, so I'm looking forward to that. After this and the open house in a few weeks, I'll decide if this is something I want to pursue. After reading their website, it definitely sounds like something I want to keep with. The club has awesome sounding facilities and a great bunch.

Anyway...as rough as it is...I guess I just keep pushing through. Thanks again for all the support people are showing me. I don't want to let YOU down.

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I have been quit for 6 Days, 1 hour and 6 minutes. I have saved approximately $48.36 by not smoking 120 cigarettes. I have saved 10 hours of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

the cravings...

Wow...cravings can be wierd things.

was kinda losing my mind a bit with the last bout of cravings. My body had almost convinced me...no wait...it was in my mind...it almost had me convinced that I WANTED to smoke. Not that I needed to...not that it would just get me over that craving, that I actually WANTED to keep smoking again.

I think I got past that one. It's all an internal mental struggle right now, and I don't like it. I just don't like it at all.

I'm still not smoking, but at this rate, I'm not sure my brain is strong enough to keep this up. I may end up going to the loony bin...

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I have been quit for 5 Days, 10 hours, 29 minutes and 1 second (5 days). I have saved $43.48 by not smoking 108 cigarettes. I have saved 9 hours of my life. My Quit Date: 09/09/2009 7:00 AM

Oh the cravings

The cravings are really bad today for some reason. All I can think about is going out to have a smoke. I keep trying to distract myself, but I'm not sure it's really working well for me. I'm just anxious to get home so I can more easily distract myself with some wood working stuff.

Anyway, thought I'd get that out of my system and done with. I think I need to have a big drink of water to take the edge off. Man what a day...

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I have been quit for 5 Days, 6 hours and 26 minutes. I have saved approximately $42.13 by not smoking 105 cigarettes. I have saved 8 hours and 45 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

Day 6 is here

I made it to Day 6 at least! Was a pretty good weekend. I've started this work week off with the newer box of patches, so at least they haven't expired. Not sure if it's making a difference or not. I'm just as twitchy I think. I can't really tell.

Lots of work for me today, so at least I'll be kept busy.

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I have been quit for 5 Days, 2 hours and 8 minutes. I have saved approximately $40.70 by not smoking 101 cigarettes. I have saved 8 hours and 25 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

Day 5!

Well, here we are at Day 5. Cravings are still pretty strong, but that may be in part to me looking at the package of patches and realizing that the expiry date on them was like 6 months ago. I'm guessing I'm not getting fully dosed, or they are just wearing off early (hence the night cravings kicking in).

Off to play some Kubb today at Majors Hill, should keep my mind off things quite well. Lots of things in my mind that I want to do now...

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I have been quit for 4 Days, 4 hours, 1 minute and 12 seconds (4 days). I have saved $33.33 by not smoking 83 cigarettes. I have saved 6 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 09/09/2009 7:00 AM

Hey, it's Day 4

Made it through the bonfire...that was the first challenge. It was a good time, and I had some pretty strong cravings, but I just powered through them. Today I was up early to head to Swedish classes only to find out it was just registration day. Ack!

Met up with Kestrel as she is going to be taking the classes as well. She's still smoking and she lit up and it didn't even phase me. Well, that's not totally true, I could see myself doing that still, but I just ignored that little voice in my head. Cravings have been there today, but they are not very strong at all. I seem to have regained my appetite a bit too. It's not really bad, but it's there again. That may not be a bad thing, but it also may not be a good thing. As long as I eat healthy, I should be fine.

So, Day 4, and all is well so far. I'm getting there!

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I have been quit for 3 Days, 6 hours, 32 minutes and 3 seconds (3 days). I have saved $26.17 by not smoking 65 cigarettes. I have saved 5 hours and 25 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 09/09/2009 7:00 AM

Day 3 continues

Well, its now after lunch. Had a good meal and could actually taste it. Glad I got gravy for the fries. Really popped with flavor.

Treating myself today by going to the barbershop. Have to leave work early to make my appointment, so that's just a bonus to me. Cravings still haven't been too bad today. Guess I'm a lucky day 3'er. Water is helping in a big way too. Drinking lots of it. Mind you, I'm using the Crystal Light juice pack things. That's fine by me. I'm still getting the water into me...right?

Read lots of the myths on the Patch and the mis-information that was given about 12 years ago. Apparently, and mind you it's not something I will do, but if you have a cigarette while on the patch, it's not the end of the world. You won't die from a nicotine overdose like they used to say. They actually now recommend, that if you feel like you're going to backslide, KEEP THE PATCH ON. They did some tests on this, and found that if you keep the patch on and end up having a smoke, odds are over 90% that the quit will work. If you take the patch off, have a smoke, odds are you're going to keep smoking at that point. Good to know, but as I said, I'm not planning on doing that anyway.

They also mention that using multiple methods will not seriously harm you. If you are on the patch and are having a serious craving that may make you cave (like I was having last night...but I worked through it), chew a piece of nicotine gum or something. It will take the edge off, and it won't do you serious harm.

I'm almost convinced that the patch loses some effect later in the day, like after about 12 hours (even though they are 24 hour patches). At about 6pm, I'm starting to get serious cravings. Maybe I'll keep some of the nicotine gum around (I have some leftover from my last quit attempt).

Well, getting ready for my haircut and shave...

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I have been quit for 2 days. I have saved approximately $17.72 by not smoking 44 cigarettes. I have saved 3 hours and 40 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

Day 3 - Hell Day

Well, it's day 3. Hell Day. And it's September 11. 8 year anniversary of the WTC attack. Add to that going for a bonfire tonight. This is gonna be a rough day.

Cravings haven't hit too hard today, I'm thankful for that so far. I'll have to wait and see what happens though. This could either be a very good day, or a very bad day. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.

Not much more to say right now other than I'm gonna go to the barber shop today to get the royal treatment. I can't believe how inexpensive the place is!

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I have been quit for 2 days. I have saved approximately $16.68 by not smoking 41 cigarettes. I have saved 3 hours and 25 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

Day 2 continues

Well, Lunch is over, and I didn't feel like going out for a smoke. So that's a good thing. I'm munching away on a plastic straw to help out the cravings as they hit. That was a good idea. I must remember to thank those that told me of this one.

The cravings are still there, but they are almost muted, like they are in the background. I'm going to do some wood working tonight when I get home so I can keep my hands busy. Should be productive. I'm a bit worried about the bonfire tomorrow night, it will be day 3 which is a nasty day for quitting. Keeping my eye on the prize...

Someone told me that I should have rewards in mind and give myself a reward when I hit "milestones". I guess I should think of something for Day 3...
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I have been quit for 1 days. I have saved approximately $9.95 by not smoking 24 cigarettes. I have saved 2 hours of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

Day 2 jitters

Well, almost lunch time now. I took some advice I got from my chainmail forum and got some straws from the cafeteria here and cut them all in half and am chewing on them. That actually seems to help a bit when the cravings hit. Now I'm going to be addicted to bendy straws. lol

Been a long day so far, and I figured it would be. I've got lots done though, so I feel good about that. Swedish classes are starting soon, that'll be cool.
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I have been quit for 1 days. I have saved approximately $9.46 by not smoking 23 cigarettes. I have saved 1 hour and 55 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

Day 2 - Oh my F***ing Hel!

Ok, last night was terrible. After getting all my Ikea furniture together, things started to bite. With my Nicotine patch falling off all the time, I'm sure I wasn't getting my dose. Where's the Methodone clinic when you need one? Just KIDDING.

I woke up this morning with heavy cravings. The morning smoke thing. It was a routine. I'm sure it was probably mostly mental cravings, but still they were brutal. It was taking all the willpower I had to not say "screw it" at that point and just start the quit process all over.

I did push through, had a shower and put a new patch on. I hope this one doesn't fall off in the middle of the day.

To describe what I'm feeling. I now know how Loki feels. Being bound beneath the earth with venom dripping on his forehead. It's gotta feel like this. It really does! I'm still pretty twitchy, but then I haven't had my coffee yet. I can't really think too straight yet as I'm still a bit light-headed. I haven't been binging on food though, so that's a good thing. Perhaps I can NOT gain weight from quitting smoking. That would be nice.

Well, back to work for me. Needed to vent and get a bit of this out of my system. There WILL be more later. I can almost guarantee that!

Oh look, I can add stats!
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I have been quit for 1 days. I have saved approximately $8.40 by not smoking 21 cigarettes. I have saved 1 hour and 45 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM

Day 1 continued...

Well, it's the 12 hour mark now...cravings are REALLY strong. probably because the patch fell off and isn't sticking very well anymore. That part really sucks. It's frightening how bad I want to go have a smoke. I remember cravings being bad before, but until ya go through it again, it never seems this bad.

I'm rambling and not thinking too straight. I'm gonna go make some food and watch TV for a bit...maybe it will take my mind off things

Day 1 - ikea hell

Ok, it's Hell week...I get that. But c'mon...

I'm busy putting together Ikea furniture (DVD shelves if ya must know) and I was working away, got the first one together and was about to start on the second and realized the cravings were starting to hit me. Not entirely sure why, I pushed through the second shelf and got it all together. I then realized I'm thirsty so I go grab a pop and decide I should relax before putting the last shelf together (yes, I have that many friggin DVDs).

I had taken my shirt off to work as it was pretty warm, and I look down and realize my patch is missing. Sure enough, there it is stuck in my shirt. No bloody wonder I was having cravings all of a sudden...so yeah, the patches must work.

Well, I must go re-apply the patch, lest I slip and fall..

Day 1 continues

Well, felt the need to post. I made it through lunch. I knew that was going to be tough. I took a walk after I ate and normally I would be sparking up a smoke for the walk. I got to the store to pick up some of those crystal light singles for my water bottle. Got those, got some organic halloween suckers (thought it was neat..made with cane sugar), and made the trek back to work. On the way back, not one craving. This may be a good sign for me. I just have to keep remembering my reasons for wanting to quit this time.

I'm approaching my 6 hour mark. Doesn't sound like much, but to me it's a milestone ;-)

Day 1

Well, it's finally here. Day 1. I've decided, once again, to quit smoking.

I have many reasons to do this, as well as blog what I'm going through.

First, I need to express what I'm feeling, so I can get past that feeling. You're going to see lots of posts here in the next few days I'm gathering.

Second, I can look back on what I've written if I ever think I should start again. Because, when it comes time to quit again, I'd see what I went through. That should be enough for me not to start up again.

Third, I've been through this before. About 6 years ago I had quit smoking, but started up again during my trip to Sweden. Actually, yeah, I had my first smoke while I was in Sweden. We were all out drinking at a bar, and I was offered a smoke. I turned it down at first, but a few glasses of scotch and a beer or two later, I had one. Yeah, it tasted like crap.

But then, I get to Amsterdam and stopped at a coffee shop. Now here is where the mental process breaks down. Before heading to a coffee shop (for those that aren't savvy about Amsterdam, a coffee shop is where you can smoke pot legally), I decided to grab a pack of smokes. I didn't want to cough up a lung at the coffee shop, so I figured I'd have a smoke to prepare my lungs for what was about to come. That was my mistake. That got me hooked on the nicotine again.

Anyway, I started smoking again was the bottom line.

Earlier this year I decided I needed to quit, but I just couldn't find the right time or method. I initially tried the gum, but that tasted terrible, and I'm not a big gum chewer to begin with. Then I tried the inhaler. A buddy at work was quitting and let me give it a try. It was interesting, but not quite what I was hoping for. I went out and bought enough patches to get me through the first month, but never did use them. I just started smoking again.

Then there were the camping trips that were inevitable. I knew sitting around, being a bit bored, I'd want to smoke, so I decided not to stress myself in these situations, so I kept smoking. See, it's all mental stupidity that kept me smoking.

Oh, and to go a bit further back, when I was trying to quit, I had a trip to Orlando with Robyn. I was sure I'd be able to kick the smokes before going, but I couldn't. I was even trying to sneak out for a smoke. Yeah, I was stupid doing that. I knew that she knew, but I still snuck around to have a smoke. Then I saw that smokes were pretty cheap there, and said "screw it" and bought some. Back to square one I went.

So here I am. I've been almost 4 hours now without a smoke, and I'm a bit twitchy. One suggestion people have is to keep your hands busy, so I'll be blogging quite a bit.

But now, let's go through what I've been through in the last 4 hours.

at about 6:30 I woke up, and went and had a smoke. It was a reactionary thing, I'm sure. Then Gwen asked if I was going to put on the patch today and start my quit. I wasn't sure. I know I wasn't sure if I was going to quit. Even right now writing this, I doubt myself a bit. But then I just get past that doubt and keep going.

I put the patch on before heading out for work. I got my coffee at Timmies, went upstairs to the office and started doing some work. I've been working on keeping busy. My next hurdle would be breakfast.

Well, went down for breakfast, ate, and went straight back upstairs. My usual was to go out and have a smoke with Shawn. I told him he was on his own today and he mentioned he saw my facebook status and figured as much.

Mentally right now I think I'm craving it, because I've missed my last few smoke breaks. My hands are a bit shaky, I'm a bit light-headed, and I tend to just stare off into space. I find myself drinking more coffee to compensate...that may be the shakiness, however, I've not had more coffee that I normally would on a normal day, so I dismissed that fact. I'm also a bit itchy. It's probably just the nerves doing that right now as it's my hands that are itchy. Maybe my fingers are missing the nicotine on them...lol

Back to work now. Time to breathe, relax, take it one hour at a time right now. I have gum beside me, but as I said, I'm not a gum chewer. I may grab a straw from the cafeteria to chew on and breath through...I don't really know at this point.

Stay tuned...there WILL be more updates.