Am I going insane?

Well, we're here...I'm on Day 21. Almost quit for a whole 3 weeks. How do I know? I have a counter in more ways than one. I have the electronic one that I use to post at the bottom of my posts, and I also have another empty box of patches. That's how I know.

Anyway, I'm 3 weeks in and I'm having issues.

I want to smoke.

I'm not sure if it's a craving, and urge or whatever they want to call it on the different websites and books and stuff. I have the desire.

I'm trying to work out how this is different from the last time I quit when I quit for almost 5 years. I think this time, my motivation isn't quite there yet. I have written down the reasons that I want to quit, and they really aren't out-weighing the want to smoke. Not reasons to smoke, as they are very few, but the desire.

Could this be a passing phase? Sure it could. Hell, I'm pretty sure it is. I've gone a good portion of my life smoking, so it's going to take time again to quit. But for some reason it's not seeming as easy as it was last time I had quit.

Giving up on the quit is easier than staying on the quit. That's for sure. But will it make me feel better? Physically? Hell no. Mentally? Maybe.

I know the Medical and Physical reasons to quit smoking. We're bombarded with them every day. I also don't want that feeling on a long trip of "When will I be able to have my next smoke". I always looked forward to the stops along the way just to grab a smoke. (If you are a smoker, or used to be a smoker that couldn't smoke in the car...you know what I mean)

I'm choosing to quit. But the main reason I'm choosing not to smoke, is I don't want to disappoint those around me that are supporting me. It's a stupid reason, it really is. I should be worried about disappointing myself, but I'm not. If I were to start smoking right now, I may be disappointed for a few minutes, but then it would pass. I know others would be really disappointed in me, and I don't want to put that on them.

I'm going to do a list again, and write down the pros and cons of starting smoking again. That should be enough to make me not want to start up. I hope.

Keep on with the support folks, I'm not lost yet...

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I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 2 hours and 51 minutes. I have saved approximately $160.94 by not smoking 402 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 9 hours and 30 minutes of my life that would have been spent outside smoking. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com