It has been a rough week in general. But I didn't smoke. That's the important thing...right?
Well, the cravings were at an all time high for almost a week now. I've been off nicotine completely for almost 2 weeks and this is just killing me inside. It's actually painful at times how much the cravings hit. That made no sense, but to me it makes perfect sense. That's how screwed up this is.
Day by day the cravings are getting slightly better, but only slightly. This one may take a while. This is the hardest quit to date. But then, I don't really remember the last quit either (the one that lasted almost 6 years). But this one, damn its rough. The temptation to smoke is great this time and I don't really know why.
Best I can figure is that it comes down to motivation. Mind you, I want to be quit. I don't want to be a slave to the smokes any more.
I have been quit for 75 days. I have saved approximately $600.29 by not smoking 1,500 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com/
Monday, November 23, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Last day
It's my last day. I'm now on my last nicotine patch. As of tomorrow morning, I'm nicotine free. Well, other than the last remnants in m body from the patches.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Not one bit. I know it's going to be a stressful day, but it will be one to "remember". Yep, November 11th is my first day sans-patch. I must be a glutton for punishment. I'll be home most of the day probably, so boredom will become a factor (thank you XBOX for lending me a distraction!)
Well, just thought I'd post one last time on the patch. It's been a rough couple of days, but I'm moving along more and more!
Showin my stats...
I have been quit for 62 days. I have saved approximately $498.42 by not smoking 1,246 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Not one bit. I know it's going to be a stressful day, but it will be one to "remember". Yep, November 11th is my first day sans-patch. I must be a glutton for punishment. I'll be home most of the day probably, so boredom will become a factor (thank you XBOX for lending me a distraction!)
Well, just thought I'd post one last time on the patch. It's been a rough couple of days, but I'm moving along more and more!
Showin my stats...
I have been quit for 62 days. I have saved approximately $498.42 by not smoking 1,246 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Rough weekend
I had a very rough weekend. I was in Union meetings all weekend (first ones as a non-smoker). I was used to going outside for stress breaks and what not. This time i pushed through. And let's not forget the amount of drinking that goes on at these events. Wowsers. I was sure I was going to crack, but I didn't. I pushed through and made it.
Yesterday, no meetings, slept in a bit, it was nice. Was talking with my girlfriend as we went out for the day (church in the morning, then to a hockey game, then out to dinner then home). Very full day. She was asking me about it as I am on my second last day with a patch. I said that I was still getting cravings, but not quite as often. She was really inquiring wanting to know what was setting off my cravings. She was just curious and wanted to understand what was causing it. I don't fault her at all for that. But ya know what? Talking about it was making the cravings come faster and faster. After a few minutes, all I could think was, "when are we getting there so I can have a smoke"...
The rest of the day was like that. Triggers were at an all time high and I thought, screw it, I'm just gonna start smoking again. I really don't care what others think, this quit is HARD.
I was fighting in my brain and realized, I don't wanna throw this all away either. Oh yeah, I'm on Day 62 now. Not day 2. Day 62. I'd throw away 2 months of quit time. But ya know, having 2 months in is NOT a safety net by any means. And I've done good to my body in those 2 months. I can feel that I've done good to my body.
Anyway, I told her that I couldn't talk about it right now as I feel like smoking and don't wanna break down. She asked one very good question and I've had to contemplate it.
"What has made this quit so much harder than your last time?"
I asked for some time to think about that question. It turned out I didn't need much time.
Last time I quit, my father was in the hospital with cancer. Didn't take much for me to want to quit at that point. Yes, I started up 5 years later, but the quitting wasn't quite as bad. The real reason this time??
I didn't want to quit.
I was not ready to quit smoking this time. I did it out of pressure. At least perceived pressure. This time I had to quit. I tried earlier in the year actually, and that only lasted a week. But I digress. This time, I didn't want to quit.
I did it anyway, but that's in the back of my mind. I only state this as that is one of the important factors in a successful quit. You have to want it. If you don't want it, you may let it slide.
That's my ramble. I still haven't smoked, but man the urge is getting stronger by the minute.
I have been quit for 61 days. I have saved approximately $488.29 by not smoking 1,220 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
Yesterday, no meetings, slept in a bit, it was nice. Was talking with my girlfriend as we went out for the day (church in the morning, then to a hockey game, then out to dinner then home). Very full day. She was asking me about it as I am on my second last day with a patch. I said that I was still getting cravings, but not quite as often. She was really inquiring wanting to know what was setting off my cravings. She was just curious and wanted to understand what was causing it. I don't fault her at all for that. But ya know what? Talking about it was making the cravings come faster and faster. After a few minutes, all I could think was, "when are we getting there so I can have a smoke"...
The rest of the day was like that. Triggers were at an all time high and I thought, screw it, I'm just gonna start smoking again. I really don't care what others think, this quit is HARD.
I was fighting in my brain and realized, I don't wanna throw this all away either. Oh yeah, I'm on Day 62 now. Not day 2. Day 62. I'd throw away 2 months of quit time. But ya know, having 2 months in is NOT a safety net by any means. And I've done good to my body in those 2 months. I can feel that I've done good to my body.
Anyway, I told her that I couldn't talk about it right now as I feel like smoking and don't wanna break down. She asked one very good question and I've had to contemplate it.
"What has made this quit so much harder than your last time?"
I asked for some time to think about that question. It turned out I didn't need much time.
Last time I quit, my father was in the hospital with cancer. Didn't take much for me to want to quit at that point. Yes, I started up 5 years later, but the quitting wasn't quite as bad. The real reason this time??
I didn't want to quit.
I was not ready to quit smoking this time. I did it out of pressure. At least perceived pressure. This time I had to quit. I tried earlier in the year actually, and that only lasted a week. But I digress. This time, I didn't want to quit.
I did it anyway, but that's in the back of my mind. I only state this as that is one of the important factors in a successful quit. You have to want it. If you don't want it, you may let it slide.
That's my ramble. I still haven't smoked, but man the urge is getting stronger by the minute.
I have been quit for 61 days. I have saved approximately $488.29 by not smoking 1,220 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday...already?
It's monday again, but it's another monday that I'm not a smoker! So that's a damn good thing in my eyes.
I had my huge halloween party to do this weekend. It was stressful to say the least. I am the host and MC for this party. I have a big fear of speaking in front of crowds, but I still do this anyway (yeah I know, my fault). I was worried as for the past couple of years, and of course the years before I quit smoking last time, I would constantly be running outside in the cold to have a quick smoke.
Well, this year, sure I may have had the urge once in a while as the memories came back, but I still didn't go out. I probably drank more alcohol because of this. You see, this bar, you have to go up 2 flights of stairs to get to the main area. Not an easy task when you're drinking like a fish. People would buy me beers a few times in the night and it would be rude not to drink them ;-)
I know, junkie thinking ;-)
Anyway, a good time was had by the folks there. I had to deal with twits all night, which wasn't fun, but at least I kept the party rockin for the 450 or so people there. That's the real important part. As long as others had a good time, I'm happy. And it was good to reconnect with some old friends there that I haven't seen for a while.
I did have a small craving this morning on the way to work. More of a memory thing again. Just walking to work, at the same point I would always light up and there was the brief glimmer across my mind of "time to have a smoke" and then it passed. At least THOSE are getting quicker.
I have been quit for 54 days. I have saved approximately $432.28 by not smoking 1,080 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com
I had my huge halloween party to do this weekend. It was stressful to say the least. I am the host and MC for this party. I have a big fear of speaking in front of crowds, but I still do this anyway (yeah I know, my fault). I was worried as for the past couple of years, and of course the years before I quit smoking last time, I would constantly be running outside in the cold to have a quick smoke.
Well, this year, sure I may have had the urge once in a while as the memories came back, but I still didn't go out. I probably drank more alcohol because of this. You see, this bar, you have to go up 2 flights of stairs to get to the main area. Not an easy task when you're drinking like a fish. People would buy me beers a few times in the night and it would be rude not to drink them ;-)
I know, junkie thinking ;-)
Anyway, a good time was had by the folks there. I had to deal with twits all night, which wasn't fun, but at least I kept the party rockin for the 450 or so people there. That's the real important part. As long as others had a good time, I'm happy. And it was good to reconnect with some old friends there that I haven't seen for a while.
I did have a small craving this morning on the way to work. More of a memory thing again. Just walking to work, at the same point I would always light up and there was the brief glimmer across my mind of "time to have a smoke" and then it passed. At least THOSE are getting quicker.
I have been quit for 54 days. I have saved approximately $432.28 by not smoking 1,080 cigarettes. My Quit Date: 9/9/2009 7:00 AM.
http://vidar-quit-smoking.blogspot.com
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)